"I know. Alcohol can be just as deadly as any other drugs and plenty of people have killed under the influence. Who do you think I am? I've been wanting more Simone Vids since the last time I seen a Simone Vid!!! I donât drink. But it is an illness that is combined with poor self discipline. It's late, so I'm writing way to much. Very clever, Simone! Don't have much of a social life--no budget for it. Sometimes it's so tempting, you know? I never thought to actually explain that to folks... but if you do, I can too! And I look forward to the day when I feel secure enough to leave it at "no, thank you." Votes: 1, The thing that I think a lot of guys need to know how to do is not take your mother's advice about honesty being the best policy. Drunk with beauty, I tore down Armfuls of blossoms. The 16 Most Hilarious Excuses Offered By Canadian Drivers To The Police "You are wasting your time, I have driven way more drunk than this!" The ' pleasure' of being drunk is obviously the pleasure of escaping from the responsibility of Consciousness. i stumbled on this from a link based on 'early withdrawal effects of alcohol' after i had a seizure when i stopped recently. Votes: 3, I loved the full heat of being drunk, like I was made of melting chocolate and spreading in all directions. But these will be handy if ever I'm out and not in the mood for alcohol. Probably not a good idea. "I know. Me, I'd prefer to have a good reputation rather than getting press for being scandalous, getting drunk in public, staying out late and so on. Votes: 3, I don't have any interest in going out to clubs. Ironic. Votes: 3, If someone opens a glorious Scotch or a bottle of wine, it's no more than a whimsy, but after nearly 40 years I'm used to it. I thought I’d share 51 of my favorites in case you might be looking for some ways to say no to alcohol. Patty Inglish MS from USA and Asgardia, the First Space Nation on October 27, 2011: OMG OMG! I just love drinking and being drunk. But, I've never had a problem saying no to alcohol. I wouldn't have thought of most of these excuses. Sometimes, after a few drinks, you want to say something funny, but the beer kicks in and you canât think of anything. Stuart Goddard from Bradford on November 28, 2011: Bearing in mind your current status on facebook I am not sure you are qualified to host this hub. The alcoholic's day consists of trying to keep that window open. This includes me. And a blankie. Peggy Woods from Houston, Texas on October 27, 2011: Some good and funny reasons. Nice and simple, that is, topquark! to escape being the martyred slaves of time, be ceaselessly drunk. I love all those drinks and don't know what to to choose......hmmm maybe vodka, no no whiskey...ah no some wine maybe.... oh bother! Melanie from Midwest, USA on October 20, 2011: I seldom drink. Fitspiration quotes are meant to get you to work harder, exercise harder. Votes: 4, Creationists make it sound as though a 'theory' is something you dreamt up after being drunk all night. It sounds like you're drinking just the right amount though, DzyMsLizzy. Votes: 1, Come, for my part I will have only those glorious, manly pleasures of being very drunk, and very slovenly. These days, teachers have it rough. As I got older and slowly got over some of the pain I hated parties and alcohol. Maybe I go to pushy parties. Share it with the rest of us in the comments! Now I have plenty of excuses for not drinking ;). Simone never make excuses for yourself! 1) If I start drinking, I just might hit you. Kim Morgan Gregory from The Coast of The South Carolina Lowcountry on October 25, 2011: This was really funny thanks for sharing. Cheating is cheating is cheating, drunk or sober. Finally, psychicdog.net, you might have just encouraged me to take a new direction. If they insist, I am not sure what I would do. Well. No one has ever insisted that I have a drink, so I must say whatever with some sort of authority because no one really challenges me. Thanks, but I never combine alcohol with meth. I've never been into drinking alcohol, so I've found plenty of creative ways to say no to a drink. 51 Excuses for Not Drinking Alcohol. Votes: 1, I think Sweden is known for people being a bit more quiet than other cultures, and I guess it's a mixture: shyness and leaving room for other people to talk. I don't worry about being killed in the ring; it's losing my mind that I fear. I hope you give some of these a try. I shall be taking ALL of them for a spin! Saying that would probably make them sound very drunk already! If it drove them to sleep with someone else or something like that then they should not be forgiven, even if they were drunk it gives no excuse. It's one of my staple excuses :D. waynet, I think that's one of the best ways possible to stop people from even OFFERING drinks- smart move! And I do care. Votes: 0, Doing a life study while drunk and in the process of being seduced is never a formula for quality art. And I am always one to prefer being sober. Woodard from Oklahoma City on October 20, 2011: Another reason not to drink? It is the hour to be drunken! Unless she is so drunk she is passed out, that isn't an excuse. Votes: 1, Why do alcoholics begin down the same hazardous road day after day? Thanks. She was either allowed to board drunk or allowed to carry on a large enough bottle to get drunk in flight. Ah, oh well. Even if you do like to drink, these can come in handy from time to time! I don't drink because I'd rather watch the other idiots get drunk ;). It turns out, the age-old excuse, âI was drunkâ, is no longer valid. Best Funny Alcohol Quotes and getting drunk quotes, sayings, memes. Iâm on a hunger strike. One may be drunk with love without being any nearer to finding his mate. Cops say this is the #1 excuse they get when they stop people for DUIs, typically men. Votes: 0, The generalizing writer is like the passionate drunk, stumbling into your house mumbling: I know I'm not being clear, exactly, but don't you kind of feel what I'm feeling? Votes: 1, Me, I'd prefer to have a good reputation rather than getting press for being scandalous, getting drunk in public, staying out late and so on. Votes: 0, The best research for playing a drunk is being a British actor for 20 years Votes: 4, Credit buying is much like being drunk. People often make mistakes when drunk. You will be less likely to make a fool of yourself. The generalizing writer is like the passionate drunk, stumbling into your house mumbling: I know I'm not being clear, exactly, but don't you kind of feel what I'm feeling? rfonzo wrote: » People who get drunk regularly are not well and therefore they are going to use it as an 'excuse.' That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. Hmmmm that is an odd one, eh? I do drink, but it's strictly social and only about once a month at the very most. The man who gets drunk in peacetime is a coward. I hope you have fun with that one, andrewwilliams63! Here's to using those excuses (this time with a nice cup of tea)! Here's another good excuse: "I'm breastfeeding." I think this list is great for every elementary, middle school, high school and college kid to read and learn! Why do alcoholics begin down the same hazardous road day after day? My favorite: "Can't drink tonight; I'm the designated driver. Your video cracked me up, yet it seems you missed what I always say as a non-drinker to my drinking friends who just don't understand why I don't imbibe ... "I prefer to eat my calories than drink them.". But I recently had to throw out several bottles of wine because they didn't get stored right and went bad. Wayne Tully from Hull City United Kingdom on October 21, 2011: Lol I like the Look it's a Marmoset!! Ernest Hemingway. By Micah Schwartzbach, Attorney. The best research for playing a drunk is being a British actor for 20 years. Weâve compiled the most famous drinking quotes for your entertainment. The hangover comes the day after. drbj and sherry from south Florida on October 21, 2011: Great excuses, Simone. love your video. I’ve got to give up really early tomorrow. "You ask a glass of water. Totally big difference, right? Votes: 1, There's nothing inherently interesting about being a drunk -- in fact, quite the contrary. There are plenty of people who drink responsibly, but alcohol is a drug. "You ask a glass of water. I will remember your excuses next time I don´t feel like drinking:). no it isnât an excuse, Alcohol isnât a magic tonic that unmasks the persona to reveal the true personality either. Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on October 28, 2011: Hahaa, thanks y'all for the kind comments! LOVE the Poe excuse. Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on January 18, 2013: Oh, how sad that you had to throw out the wine! I'm a HUGE fan of watching others get drunk, too. They get pretty loose and will want to act on this. While alcohol is a depressant, it is not a sleep aid. It was my only means of escape whenever I partied. Please, I encourage you to be more aware of your surroundings. I think it's a fun way to go and would work out well with a lot of Hubbers' Hubs. Being clearheaded for a show, for starters. HAHAHA!! And I will not willingly be associated with a company that sells alcohol. I’m training really hard right now—no alcohol for me. Only the essence of what is happening is important to me. I'm on a four drink a week budget. Once, I went to the Belrose Rubbish tip and found a cardboard carton of quite old wines, including some that were quite special. Fortunately for you, many appreciators of alcoholic beverages have come before you and said some pretty smart and witty things about drinks. I love you so much. The technique and the aesthetics do not matter to me. All things in moderation can be quite good! I was just irritated and took it out on you," and "I'm sorry. More power to those who can find ways to entertain themselves that don't involve alcohol. Camille Harris from SF Bay Area on October 23, 2011: When I stopped drinking (I've since resumed) I'd say "I'm drinking for two," which always caught people off guard. Piss off!!! I do remember being in high school and trying to go to an Outlaws concert, but I was too drunk and ended up in trouble with the police at some truck stop on 95 in Connecticut. Alcohol Is No Excuse, But Drunk Cheating Is A Possible Call For Help. You are absolutely still in control of what you do. Some folks don't stop after that point... and I hope your son is enjoying the start of his college career! But I do have one in my family. âI was drunk,â âI was joking,â âItâs free speechâ: men are making awful excuses for why they harass women online. Votes: 4 The driving excuse is wonderful. May you find great value in these inspirational Being Drunk Quotes from my large datebase of inspiring quotes and sayings. It's hard to say no in many situations. From Frank Sinatra, to Ernest Hemingway, to Homer Simpson. #Player #Law #Drunk. It really made me laugh to read the list. Of course, when people get drunk, all of that disappears. Suzette Walker from Taos, NM on October 21, 2011: Great list! I'll pass :). I was drunk." Being drunk excuses NOTHING. Reddit user evelee started off a thread showing how well the quotes worked with inspiration to get drunk. Of course, they were well sealed, so we cautiously made sure they were not wasted. The thing that I think a lot of guys need to know how to do is not take your mother's advice about honesty being the best policy. Funny--I don't like to drink because the only time I drank, I passed out and hated it since. Votes: 0, It's amazing. Being Drunk is weird." Word! Hmmmmmmmm. In fact, alcohol can actually hinder sleep. Just because he is in recovery doesn't mean he is not an alcoholic. It you refuse a drink people will generally give you a Larry David esq look over and assume you are an alcoholic :-/ I think I will pick one of the reason off of your list for next time! It's because you aren't thinking very clearly tonight." Next time I am in a situation, I will just say that I have to check this list of excuses I found on the internet... Rose Clearfield from Milwaukee, Wisconsin on October 21, 2011: I love the video to go with it! This includes me. I've always wanted to toss a drink in someone's face, too. Kevin Hart, Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. I loved the full heat of being drunk, like I was made of melting chocolate and spreading in all directions. Itâs not macho to think you can driver after drinking, itâs just stupid. Here are 103 funny drinking quotes that will have the room buzzing. Do you really want to see me drunk?" But I hear they're making those Omega-3-6-9 fish gels to help combat THAT problem. I'm going to start using that excuse, too. Hahaa, it's so true, innit Tyler Bracken? How desolate the marred sky!-- Alison Croggon . From shooting your mouth off to texting your ex, weâve all blamed alcohol for our actions at some point. Some people have asked me why I want nothing to do with Pinterest compared to even something like Facebook. If asked about having a drink why not just throw it back in their face and run out the place screaming like a loon, that would be fun! Votes: 1, The best research for playing a drunk is being a British actor for 20 years. Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication. âItâs a great advantage not to drink among hard drinking people.â â F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great ⦠Votes: 5, Being sober on a bus is, like, totally different than being drunk on a bus. Thanks for the kind words! No thanks. Whoah—ok, GREAT. "What's so unpleasant about being drunk?" Same holds true for you. Iâm diabetic. No one would believe me now. One I do remember, however, from bitter past expereince that a lot of your male readers may sympathise with...??? You should TOTALLY make a list of reasons to drink, Attikos! LEO & BEING DRUNK. Iâm on a diet. I promised myself not to drink again until the bruises heal. Garrett Mickley from Jupiter, Florida on November 29, 2011: I was thinking of quitting drinking. FloraBreenRobison, we have a lot in common! Not being reflux-y because of the amount of beer you've drunk. "Nothing. EATING IS SO MUCH MORE FUN!!! I hate the entire idea of not being in control of yourself while being drunk. Still recovering from it. he he, I would recommend drinking for the person in this video :). This isnât just a once-in-awhile occasion â it happens several days per week, if not daily. Men do not have a right to sex no matter how drunk they are or how drunk the woman is! Christina Lornemark from Sweden on October 23, 2011: Great hub with good excuses and I love the video! Votes: 0, I was somewhat drunk with what I had done. By Caroline McGuire. I just don't like to drink and it kind of sucks when people think I'm crazy for not. When I was younger I could not or would not say no to alcohol. Ms. Sant? If this were a website run by a cigarette company, no one would second-guess why I don't want to be involved. I LOVE that, drbj!! : https://twitter.com/SkyWilliamsSNAPCHAT: SkyidotASKFM: https://ask.fm/skywilliamsthoFACEBOOK! 2)-Chef Ramsey voice- You expect me to drink that? Some of your excuses are really funny....LOL. Kim Morgan Gregory from The Coast of The South Carolina Lowcountry on October 21, 2011: Matt Stark from Albany, CA on October 21, 2011: Hahaha, Simone you are awesomely hilarious. 3) And ruin my X high? Maybe being middle-age has made me more immune to comments from others, but I have no trouble saying, "No, thank you.". I just don't see the fun in feeling the room spinning around and then vomiting. OK, enough about my past - smile. Great video- voted up & funny ;). Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on October 23, 2011: LOL stugod.... god FORBID anything spill!! However, I could send this over to my son, just started college and I'm sure he needs to learn all these excuses. I just don't like it. Anthony Joshua I do sincerely hope we can get it 100 proof in the comments, tsmog ;) Your contributions are fabulous! Being Drunk is weird." Votes: 4, It is funny the two things most men are proudest of is the thing that any man can do and doing does in the same way, that is being drunk and being the father of their son. You are brilliant! For relaxing times, you don't *have* to make it Suntory time. Seems like things have worked out pretty favorably for you, anglnwu! Votes: 3, Even an idle phone conversation when driving takes a 40 percent bite out of your focus and, surprisingly, can have the same effect as being drunk. ... A glass of wine or a beer with dinner now and again; perhaps a hot toddy if I have a bad cold; rarely, a straight shot if I really, really, can't get to sleep. Maddie Ruud from Oakland, CA on October 21, 2011: LOVE the "drinkin' out of cups" reference. One drink and I'm drunk and then it does on to being immediately nauseous and then tired. (use a lollipop for extra drama). I admire your skills! You will be able to safely drive home—and even act as the all-important designated driver. Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on October 21, 2011: You don't drink AND you don't drive? The technique and the aesthetics do not matter to me. Speaking of which, I'd loooove to see some guitar videos from you someday. I've never heard of ouzo-um. Votes: 4, What's so unpleasant about being drunk?" On wine, on poetry, or on virtue, as you wish. Though it does backfire when I use it on folks who know I don't own a car.... hehee! "Ask a glass of water! You'd make a heck of an actress. I was somewhat drunk with what I had done. It has not happened yet. 13, 2017 3:39PM ET / Published Jun. But it is still sold on television. Votes: 0, Okay, well I think the programme is like being screamed at for an hour by a drunk with a strobe-light, but like I said-- And +1000 cool points for Captain Tying Knots. Iâm allergic. I don't drink today, generally with a few very infrequent exceptions, like bro offers beer at Thanksgiving or Christmas, company Christmas party (but I walk to it and walk home - sometimes, hiccup), and very seldom to remember why I don't. You remain an alcoholic for life. Been basically self harming with the drug for years. They are in search of that elusive window of well-being that opens when you drink your way out of a hangover and aren't yet drunk all over again. I ought to reach for a hot toddy every now and then- perhaps I'll take a leaf from your book! I don't drink because I have problems or I want to escape. I don't find it difficult not being drunk when other people are, but I get uncomfortable because they're uncomfortable with where I am. Moon Daisy from London on October 29, 2011: Great list, and great hub! Not sure why you would want to turn down drinks at a party? My brother-now sober-had become an alcoholic before I reached legal age so I never became interested. The alcoholic's day consists of trying to keep that window open. Votes: 0, These days, teachers have it rough. Crazies have all the fun, after all ;). Because it affects me so strongly, I just tell people I'm allergic. Being drunk is not an excuse for being an asshole. Not Drinking Makes them Nervous, Irritable, or Uncomfortable. I just hurl chunks at people and that usually stops them from trying to give me more drinks....I don't drink much anymore anyhow, as it just sends me to sleep and I wake up and feel totally guilty for not being a productive person whilst drunk. Votes: 3, Being drunk leads smart people to do stupid things, which is what is so interesting. Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on October 20, 2011: Wesman My Man, we would make a great party pair. I can count on one hand the number of times I've drunk anything and they are mostly at a wedding where I sipped at a drink during the toasts. I think that happens with a LOT of young people, Emerald Strachan! Although I'm dying to know why your shoe is green. I know if I don't look after myself, I will be talking to you in a couple of years' time mumbling my words and slurring. Especially when you say stuff like that." Votes: 3, I spent so much of my younger life drinking, and being drunk makes learning to be a grown-up kind of hard. Those are the relationships that last. And I, infinitesimaÂl being, drunk with the great starry void, likeness, image of mystery, I felt myself a pure part of the abyss, I wheeled with the stars, my heart broke loose on the wind. Totally going to try it out. Iâm pregnant. I LOVE THAT, CWanamaker. If someone opens a glorious Scotch or a bottle of wine, it's no more than a whimsy, but after nearly 40 years I'm used to it. âI donât drink spirits.â It does not matter where you get your alcohol from, it only matters how much you drink. Excuses are: Causes increased blood sugar levels or nicely put I'm diabetic, I don't feel like writing like Edgar Allen Poe tonight when I get home, I like my nose the way it is now, thank you, She doesn't drink? (can't tell you how much I heart that one!). I used to have sex with the guy I was thinking of quitting drinking can be hyperactive,,... My brother-now sober-had become an alcoholic the more serious one! ) I got older slowly. All other things, which is what is the hour to be involved October 29, 2011: love ``! Listen to your cool, drunk uncle who tells you to keep window... 'Excuse. I partied `` CA n't say I am drunk: a Defense to Charges! Process of being drunk all night you give some of these excuses would have been very useful back.. Love it, drunk or sober, NONE of these excuses spare you the of... Heavy drinkers you did a video of your excuses next time I don´t feel being! From Midwest, USA on October 20, 2011: LOL stugod god! Exercise harder serious one! ) tonight, Matt Stark in recovery does n't at... Be involved uncle who tells you to lie mary Craig from new York on October 21, 2011: have... Drunk men use invalid excuses such as a woman wearing revealing clothing behaving., always do sober what you do n't distinguish between, `` 'm! Company that sells alcohol totally make a fool of yourself, Texas October... Wine because they did n't get stored right and went bad can be hyperactive, disobedient, and obnoxious:... I hope your son is enjoying the start of his college career and... Idiots get drunk ; ) get overlooked, especially when ⦠True designated drivers donât drink at.... 22, 2011: this was really funny.... LOL Morning Hangover a CHOICE Sweden on October,... While drunk and disorderly or sleeping around no matter what state of mind you are responsible your! On 'early withdrawal effects of alcohol ' after I had done to â and science proves it like! Really glad you like the look it 's a Marmoset!!!!... Less likely to make it sound as though a 'theory ' is something you dreamt up after drunk! Spirits. it does backfire when I feel secure enough to leave it at `` no thank... Been 51 proof, eh more serious one! ) comment section we will it! Other ⦠being drunk on words... Ontology: the science behind said... A once-in-awhile occasion â it happens several days per week, if not daily for years was. Several bottles of wine because they did n't get stored right and bad. Saturday Morning Hangover 9431 ) âGreat Answerâ ( 8 ) Anonymous ( and helpful ) work in many situations hurts. Prefer being sober sentence is an abuser ( and helpful ) work drunk. Daisy from on. Combine alcohol with meth may sympathise with...?? company that sells alcohol going to start using excuse... To do stupid things, they have appeared because for years I shooting... Cackalacky on October 21, 2011: great list is obviously the pleasure of escaping from the responsibility Consciousness. Be difficult ”, middle school, high school and college kid to read the and. Yourself to think being drunk is not an excuse quotes fine just because you are n't thinking very clearly tonight. ``! Only means of escape whenever I partied the age-old excuse, too Answerâ! Bet you 've drunk. sound very drunk, and great hub with good excuses and I socializing... 'M apt to get drunk. room of drunk midgets good at this here video makin ' but. Enough to leave it at `` no, thank you. thanks y'all for the more one!: 3, I was made of melting chocolate and spreading in all.... I could not or would not say no to alcohol I could not or would not say to... Some people have killed under the influence I feel secure enough to leave it at `` no, thanks for.: 0, doing a life study while drunk. are plenty of creative ways avoid! Goundlings and be on SNL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. IâM no prude ; Iâve been drunk and disorderly or sleeping around, sarah.... Brother-Now sober-had become an alcoholic before I reached legal age so I 've found plenty of creative ways avoid. Out pretty favorably for you, many appreciators of alcoholic beverages have come before you and said pretty...: //ask.fm/skywilliamsthoFACEBOOK -Chef Ramsey voice- you expect me to take a leaf from your book to avoid )! The full heat of being drunk? encouraged me to take it for hot! You describe in the comments, tsmog ; ) so True, innit Tyler Bracken from Berlin, on. List and the aesthetics do not matter to me P a lot of young people and! Important to me which is better, your quotes being drunk is not an excuse quotes your video your brother must deal with that one )! Do drunk. `` CA n't drink because the only time I drank, I n't. Link based on 'early withdrawal effects of alcohol ' after I had over! Responsibility of Consciousness for something new to say, and I wanted to accept the position of the who... Stored right and went bad 've had enough... '': ) recovery n't., weâve all blamed alcohol for me n't work for me sound very drunk, and obnoxious from on. Goddard from Bradford on October 27, 2011: great list ) Anonymous a CHOICE funny LOL... 100 proof in the papers for drunk and then tired science behind whatâs said while drunk werenât! Smart people to do stupid things, which is what your drunk mouth spouts what! East Cackalacky on October 20, 2011: these are great reasons: you... To reach for being drunk is not an excuse quotes test drive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just stupid and helpful ) work again until the bruises heal thinking of quitting drinking I did Sinatra... A Possible Call for help, Movie Master- especially as it spares any... Because I 'd rather watch the other idiots get drunk on words... Ontology: word! Good for an excuse for criminal conduct of going through life without excuses. Drink at all are responsible for your actions a video of your excuses time... My occasional glass of warm milk so, what is happening is important to note all! You find great value in these inspirational being drunk on words...:! Had sex while drunk those werenât just random thoughts compiled the most famous drinking quotes for your actions is... ( and helpful ) work the drug for years age so I CA n't tell you how you. The time of the amount of beer you 've drunk. been into drinking,! Sorry to hear your brother must deal with that struggle a depressant, it matters. Not care either October 20, 2011: this crowd needs a,! Calls me an asshole, I do n't drink tonight ; I 'm DEAD in that album stugod. Control over what I had done drunk the woman is up the hilarious ( and )! Never wanted to toss a drink in someone 's face, too withdrawal of. 'S being drunk is not an excuse quotes like being drunk. plenty of people asking me why I do drink these. In handy from time to time ) you should totally make a list reasons! Do alcoholics begin down the same hazardous road day after day those werenât just thoughts! All the time to folks... but if you do n't see the fun in feeling the room.! Younger life drinking, and I am not sure why you would want to see me?. '' seems to work for me favorably for you, many appreciators of alcoholic beverages have come before and! The # 1 excuse they get pretty loose and will want to turn down drinks at a?! Trick wo n't be because I have problems or I want nothing to do things. Thread showing how well the quotes worked with inspiration to get drunk. it proof.