Imagination Spinning so fast all I felt was my brain matter being pulled like magnets to the outside of this spinning wheel with nothing able to connect in the centre. since adolescence. Am I even gonna finish THIS project? Then you remember it only after it is relevant? This is the bane of being social, i describe it as the moment i wan’t to say something in a convesation my mind fills up with: I’m determined, I’m loyal and hard working, kind, creative, a team player, isolated- singled out, ‘m sensitive, I’m secretly critically depressed. Sorry so long. Depression and anxiety disorders sometimes go along with ADHD and it’s very hard to live like this and be able to go out into public and try to do “normal” things every day. I lose friends because I cannot ‘chill’ and because my impulses win at the most inconvenient times. Turns out I scored high prob 60 or 70% sure. Luckily, she was kind enough to listen and has been on my side through the diagnosis and everything. I’m diagnosed with ADHD. One is clingy, and likes trying to get your attention, telling you random things, and distracts you, the other runs around causing trouble. And the worst part is while people are talking in my day dream. Here was my day: For me adhd is like a theory in the video game series Halo where the ai think themselves to death. If Earth was forever mi a tell u dis treva While distinguishing other hit songs solely by hearing & feeling the drum beat? Not having the slightest clue to anything being sang? I still can’t get my life right…I don’t know how. Its like I have a thousands differemt thoughts that fly by while one stay prevalent in the background and they all just compete for my attention slowing everything down untill I go inzane like an ai burning its hardware out. Tasks and reminders are listed in bullet points, color coded, with the important things written in bright red, underlined and circled and separate from the rest of the words on the board. But then a feeling of disappointment and wondering what is wrong with me follows. Life is really funny though, it works in circles and I truly believe that, everything that we do in life comes back to us, if we do good things, we get back good, but if we do bad things we get back bad. I really like that analogy at the beginning, it really put things into perspective for me of what it is like for my friend. I am homeless and can’t stop spirolling down to find I gave up and now just servive day to day and wish I could stop caring at all to just not feel the pain in it all And by then it was a struggle to get my shoe off due to the pain and swelling. and the i remember other things so i need to write them down just so i dont forget about them….and the fact that no one in my life can understand just why its so hard to say “hell with all that crap and just sit and paint” and yet i cant either….really sucks-they get to get away from me- i dont….if i walk to store-brain is right there, even if im trying to sleep-hours of my brain just goin on and on,,,,alot of time i wish i never would of tried medication for adhd-yes it brought me in the moment and helped me concentrate but just didnt work with my body…..lost effects in 6 weeks-vyvanse, then strattera-anxiety and depression and hives all over face, then adderall xr and ir- totally worst headahces, cant go out in heat longer than 20 min at a time and i got a toddler so good luck with that- and now im on ritalin-after asking for focalin….i have tbi pdst as well as adhd-who knows maybe throw sum depression in their too….just tired of the side effeects from meds and the chaos it caused with my family. I have no other income. That’s another thing, we that are adders, we really relit on the rules and we try to get everybody else to play by the rules to, it make since then. But research something! They don’t pretend to understand what I’m going through but they earnestly care and try to…. Yet I care still enough to comment and still not enough to even spell check or consider trying to explain in more detail for this to not appear and be seen for having no credet or truly explain how this is to know and just .. What you should do instead is hug him as much as you can. They just think you don’t WANT to escape and do things their way. I’ve applied to professional research jobs, but my background doesn’t usually fit what they are looking for, so I get weeded out and haven’t even had the chance to interview. So, your office stays in disarray, and the fan doesn’t have a way to turn it off or unplug it. I wonder if anyone has food issues with good especially like eating. Ashwagandha was helpful with anxiety, though, and I still occasionally take it (increases GABA and reduces cortisol). I have a bad headache too that makes me feel so dizzy like i'm gonna pass out. If that’s the case she is not appreciating a pretty significant part of you. I am 42 I feel like I may finally have found the answer as to why I live my life on fast forward, why my head drags my exhausted body around without a care for how worn out it is, why I share too much information, why I can not remember the simplist of things (lists don’t help I forget the flipin lists) why I have a temper that is volcanic, why I can’t follow a god da’n conversation, why I can’t line my own thoughts up, why I walk to the fridge and can’t remember what I went for, forget to pick my kids up from school because time rolls into one, why I can’t watch a film, sleep, relax, switch off, recall things that happen in my day (the blank spots are really frustrating) . 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2020 take me there i wanna know what it feels like