Your bodies will fit together perfectly. Having a baby can create a bond that encourages mature personal growth and strengthens a couple's commitment to each other -- but that doesn't happen overnight, and more often, it doesn't. Nobody wants probably so you think men should just force themselves to be in love with someone they're not?? You shouldn't have a baby unless you're in a committed relationship and have a foundation of financial and emotional security. He has been nothing but supportive, but I do not love him. So you have been together 9yrs, do you have other children you need to think about as well? It tears me apart. In the workplace, women with youthful faces are often more successfuland make solid leaders.On the other hand, though, some baby-faced women get passed overfor challenging tasks and leadership roles. I make significantly more income then her, so I know she will need the child support, which will at least allow me to be in my child's life, but I don't want my child to be exposed to an unhappy marriage. Have you told him you're pregnant yet? If you just dont see it working it is better to do it now. Wasn't looking for a sugar daddy. Find out to see whether he actually likes you by taking this quick free quiz. As I read the last couple lines I typed, I sound so selfish. First, she's too far along. Though they don't have a child, Oprah and Stedman have been together for decades and have no intention of being married. Broken heart is a usual thing but, what is bad is the action that people choose to take to heal the broken heart itself. You would [hopefully] love your child, while also realizing that you shouldn't be having sex with anyone that you don't want to have a baby with. In the episode, Homer recounts the story of Maggie's birth when the kids ask why there are no photos of her in the family album. dont do it I married my ex for the same reasons it was terrible for not only us but my children. MUST READ: Is Christmas Bibilical Or Paganism? It originally aired on the Fox network in the United States on January 22, 1995. We didn't have to be. cos no parents will watch their daughter to be ignore by a guy whom impregnated her\.. and am not even sure de gurl will accept that U must learn how to love her love grows strongly if u give it a chance.. give that a try ok without causin her much pain. My kids are doing good. hmmmm my advise to u is to pray to God n ask for forgiveness, i wonder the big talk u used on this gal b4 u got her on bed and now ur running frm ur responsibility. Probably. Use of this site is subject to our terms of use and privacy policy. You need a job and a plan so that you don't get stuck with him forever. Sure, most couples are madly "in love" at first, but as time goes on I think most people who have been married 10, 20, 50+ years will say that love is first a choice and then feelings follow and there are some hard times when the feelings are not there and all you are left with is the choice to show love to this person. Also, don't give her a dime of your money towards the baby until you find out if it's yours. There is very little physical attraction. No love. If you do not want posts which do not comply with your state of mind, don't post. Long story short my ex dumped me. I must contain all this and somehow manage it thus minimizing any possible damage. Please specify a reason for deleting this reply from the community. Also my ex is unlikely to have children which in her case actually doesn't matter to me. If you don't like something about your life, MAKE A CHANGE. On the other hand, if you do not love her but only want the child, it is also very selfish of you. If you don't like him, you don't have to live with him or use him. we ended u divorcing in 6 years anyway. back out now, "Leaving a pregnant girlfriend with your child, in my view is very selfish and irresponsible. And in some cases, she may want to keep the baby, but you don't. But what do you do in this situation? Everyone has their reasons for doing things and it's not up to us to judge them. That is exactly how I feel about my life over the past 8 years - it feels like I have been sleepwalking. We are two total opposite people. I guess I'm just looking for someone on the same boat because I really wish I could have someone to talk to. Help :(. As a matter of fact, there are many mental, emotional, and social side effects associated with being a young-faced woman. Do you think that she would let you be a father if you two were to split? 9 min read. FTM. I got pregnant and was pressured to get married. The man I am pregnant by has been in my life for years and is a good man but I am not in love with him. Is she shaka Zulu or she is not attracted to u?? You could have the best partner and tons of family support. Is it okay for you to feel down all the time thinking about the mistake you did? have condoms been created for monkeys, so silly, i feel for your baby maannnnn, irresponsible parents. And if your parents think you guys are in love Then how does that work? HAPINESS IS AN INDIVIDUAL RESPOSIBLITY. It was enough for me to be content, while I gave the kids a life that I never had. Be mature about it don't depend on her to be safe you be safe, if she don't comply then don't have sex! We literally virtually broke up the night before! He will probably try to then use the baby against you. no one is going to be happy in that relationship. I FEEL SORRY FOR THE GIRL INVOLVED. Will you make a better progress by doing so? It stressed us kids out like you wouldn't believe, all the kids are dysfunctional, serious trust issues. Know his concern about the current situation and discuss. That's a bummer sadly, the pill can and often does fail, even if its taken 100% properly and on time (and it usually isn't), so you have to be REALLY careful with someone you dont want to reproduce with, as many men have found before you. Nobody forces you to live with him, if you really don't like him, you can find a job and leave. Use of this site is subject to our terms of use and privacy policy. :(. It depends on the person. I would rather someone abort a child they don't want than to have the child and it end up neglected and in the system as it got older. But men can still get baby fever. Sometimes their families even paid a dowry to the groom . If you don't want to be controlled, don't make yourself 100% dependent on someone. It's the kind of care for your emotions, feelings, and love. Just here to say I constantly feel guilty for all of the crying I have done this pregnancy. It may be tolerable now, but it sounds like you are unhappy. I just need to vent and I thought this would be a good place to do it. I too got burned with the kid trap. She will touch you in a gentle way, kiss you softly and hug you with her heart. 'Don't expect rewards in love': woman, 32, who desperately wants a baby says she dated 100 men in a year, renewing marriage pressure debate in China A woman went on more than 100 dates. I know quite a few mothers who weren't ready (not that anyone ever is) to have a baby when they did and just grew to resent their child. Ex My moving on process. Because, you are not allowing yourself to have a better relationship, at least with your own self. The end result was the same my siblings and I had the worse upbringing. Adults with kids don't need someone else to financially support them. Either way, I was ready to "play house". But I don't know if I can be with her for the rest of my life. Like, we really, seriously, truly love it. SHE DESERVES A SAYING IN THIS! That showed up as a third factor." 1.) YES PRO-LIFE HOWEVER THINK ABOUT IT THIS WAY COULD YOU PROVIDE THE BEST FOR THE CHILD? That's when one of them dropped the term . View woman having a baby videos Browse 599,438 woman having a baby stock photos and images available, or search for woman in labor or woman giving birth to find more great stock photos and pictures. They finally divorced when I was 19. You're a mom now. Don't get me wrong here, my daughter can destroy with the best of them. Nothing from the start. Women, in particular, have a growing awareness of the benefits of having babies when they're ready and not having more than they can provide for. I would start making a game plan, create a change. Back then I loved her and I felt sorry for her because she took the decision of getting marry to me even though she didn't love me. The relationship seems new and I know that is hard. So they say don't break up, move, change careers, etc in the first year. 1997-2023 BabyCenter, LLC, a Ziff Davis company. It does make someone feel down and stressed out but, look at the big picture. You decided to have a child with a man you barely know, you use him and his money (as you wrote, he can afford to pay for your car and other stuff) and you want us to praise you. Everyone has their reasons for doing things and it's not up to us to judge them. My partner works alot which I think is the cause of us not having any connection? Life will not be easier staying with him. Saturday 4 Mar 2023 10:00 am. I sacraficed my needs for them. She was expressing her feelings and thoughts about feeling like she won't love her child which she should probably talk to her doctor or a therapist about since I'm pretty sure there is a form of depression you can have before having the child but can't think of the name of it off the top of my head. Download Preview. It's why your lady friend just said those two possibly thrilling, possibly terrifying words: "I'm pregnant." So what do you say when the woman you. cos it not easy to becme a single mother huh. Don't try to be super-parent and don't let other people's unfair assumptions affect how you see yourself and your family. After all, what is marriage if there is no happiness? I chose to divorce my husband and my boyfriend of 4yrs has now ditched meit's also the consequence for the actions that I chose GET OUT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know some people may be asking why having sex with someone you dont love. Do I have to spend the rest of my life with a woman I don't love? You can't force yourself to love him. i know for sure u dated her for longer b4 she got pregnant start looking at the quality this gal have n think of ur daughter after that give her a chance n delete that mind of not loving her out of ur mind n married her ..am sure God will give u new hrt to love her.. Call your old boss, call family and friends, research aid and stop telling yourself you're stuck. Not. Features: Kris Fluffy named herself aptly - "fluffy" because she says she doesn't shave a single hair on her body. I didn't want to end up starting a family in my 50s. It would not work out for you or for her. You could have an easy pregnancy, a quick easy delivery and a healthy happy baby. Many of us are (heavily) pregnant and still working. Please whitelist our site to get all the best deals and offers from our partners. Wear a condom, or allow some woman to own your future (and your money) for a couple decades of your life! the repercussions and consequences of such an act always plays out. She needs someone that truly loves her. start communicatin with her without quarrellin give her a try n am sure things gonna work out Or r u afraid u wont be able to sleep around or play ur games wen she step into urlife dear dwag such life n face reality. AND NO ONE IN THIS SITUATION WILL BE HAPPY IF IT IS. After all, a 70-year-old guy can still have kids. In fact, I was planning on breaking up with him right before I found out I was pregnant. a deed frowned upon by society and seen as a problem The deed has already been done instead of advising and coming up with ways to make sure the child is brought up in a obviously deserving loving environment that the child needs instead of an environment filled with resentment, hate, misery, spitefulness etc etc, you all are pushing.insulting and forcing the guy to guy marry the girl in question.. marrying that girl would even be a bigger mistake and problem than the first one. . You had the intention to be with someone for fun without taking the consequences seriously. ISNT THAT WHAT WE ALL WANT? I want to love this baby, but I can't shake how I feel. Then suddenly she is all happy, and loved up which I find really hard to believe. Eventually though, it caught up to us. You both mature guys so kindly sit her down and explain with vital reasons to her as to why just cant marry her but be sure to do it in a spirit of gentleness less you provoke her and all plans fade cos gals can be crazy at times when provoked. In November 2022, I gave birth to my precious baby girl. When I did he the. We tried to make it work. Mary Morris Former Bookkeeper Author has 285 answers and 1.6M answer views 2 y Being pregnant isn't an excuse to work not work, I worked up until I was 38 weeks along by choice. For all the guys out there who think a woman is the stepping stone to the next onewear a condom. If she says she doesn't want the relationship then that's fine but if a man says he doesn't then that's selfish. It happens almost all the time that children involved in such situations rather suffer the consequencies. Sorry for the long story, but I wanted to give you an example of how the other side of things could go. We respect everyones right to express their thoughts and opinions as long as they remain respectful of other community members, and meet What to Expects Terms of Use. Idnt also think the said mother would marry someone who wouldnt make her happy. I thought the same! You said you quit your job Is that because of the pregnancy? By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. A cesarean birth, which accounts for 21% of births today, costs around. I'm a **** if I lie and say I love her and be with her. Time to grow up! He bought it and it is in his name. Note that once you confirm, this action cannot be undone. I don't want to burden her with any of this, especially now that she needs to be calm and feel secure. I just put myself on hold. Friends with benefits are often just friends who you sleep with, with no emotional attachment. Couples do stay together when they are not in love, just for the sake of stability for the child. seriously.. i find it hard to understand SOME MEN. Ease into the conversation. Create an account or log in to participate. Think about it if you can't love him ever then end it and learn to co parent. Firstly, I am sending my regards to you all. THE CHILD WILL HAVE MOTHER AND FATHER TOGETHER. A lot of women are alone while pregnant or with young children and they have a life they can be proud of. On top of that, my age (early forties) scared me into accepting the situation thinking that i am too old to start all over again and wasting more time. Add to Favorites. It is helped by a rush of love when the baby arrives, but that doesn't have to be present to create a positive, warm, loving connection which is what love is." For me, even weeks later, those warm . Welcoming your new baby with wishes of health, joy and plenty of sleep. Having a complex relationship that involves a baby mama means you have to include the other woman in your life; whether you like it or not. Cost Of Food At The Plush Restaurant Of Akufo-Addos Daughter Causes Stir Online Video, Richie Mensah Confirms Kuami Eugenes Deal With Empire, Hw3 Nie Okyer3 Bi Watch Epic Moment Joselyn Dumas Stood Inches In Sight Of Her Least Favourite Fan, Be Careful, She Destroyed Moesha And Hajia 4 Real Fella Makafui Warned Over Friendship With Salma, Alan Cash, Kwasi Nyantakyi, Kwasi Appiah, Kurt Okraku And Other Dignitaries Storm Christian Atsus One Week Celebration, This Is Like A Hair Dressing Salon Social Media Trolls Tonardo After Flaunting His Sakatuu Living Room. If someone truly needs GA, that's absolutely what it's for. What issues have you two had? We provide resources that help you in your relationship, marriage, and dating life. THE TRUTH IS THAT NO MATTER LOVE CANNOT BE FORCED. Get a job and find a place to live. A Group Owner is a member that has initiated the creation of a group to connect with other members to share their journey through the same pregnancy & baby stages. I was in the same boat. Suck it up because you didn't do her any favours having to live with you either. We found out. Long story short. He just has a side I don't like. Good luck. but she didn't have her baby . You should do what will make you happy. I'm sorry this is long but I have no one else. How can you discuss your thoughts with her in a healthy way? I try to act normal as Bella and I sit here talking, even though I'm feeling abnormally attracted to her even . The preferential parent is a parent who loves one child, the " golden child ," but doesn't love the other (or others), a " scapegoat .". I know many people that don't feel a connection to their babies for whatever reason until they are born, it happens and it will definitely change once you see his little face. Whether the mistake were made with or without your intention, it still your mistake anyway. At the end of the day, you won't be able to find happiness that you have been looking for. He's provided for me financially, has given me a house and a car, and is really into being a father. Leaving a pregnant girlfriend with your child, in my view is very selfish and irresponsible. if she wants to put kid in day care every day, she can and you pay for it). my point is no one really wins in this situation. The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of What to Expect. The way you speak to yourself has a lot to do with the way you view your situation. Lovers have a fun in comfortable room. I would say take a step back and analyze why you are not connecting with him and see if things could be different if you two had some changes. there will be hatred, resentment, and misery. I've never been the same since he brought out innocent baby into the argument. When a woman loves you, she's kind to you. I would be too miserable too even think of looking at other women. We had two kidsnice little family unit. He nearly killed you. This is why i found it hard to break up with her although I'd thought about it many times in the past. AS to your ex, is she still into you, or is it one-sided? Learn more about. Also, you must then decide if you want to be in the child's life, how you will coordinate co-parenting a kid when you're not in a relationship, etc. But, learning from the past and making it as a lesson is a different story. My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. Anyway, if you don't want to be with her, make that very clear. The best alterantive is if you can be amicable and stay friends w/your child's mother and cooperate for the kid's sake, although w/the emotions involved that isn't always possible. AND THIS ALSO INCLUDES AN UNHAPPY CHILD. He made a baby with you but doesn't seem to support you financially and you don't live together. As to my ex yes she is into me, we where together for over 9 years, this current relationship is just 10 months old! He is capable of choosing to be with you and not having a child with you, or leaving if he decides he wants a child more. This after-pregnancy condition is common, with roughly 70 to 80 percent of new mamas experiencing some degree of sadness. I do want to be a father but i always imagined it different, like being with a woman that i am in love with. Your post will be hidden and deleted by moderators. Welcome! A. After a while it was better but even now when we get into arguments he's so controlling and condescending it just makes me like him less and less. You will need to know on how to get a Taurus man make a decision due to your current situation. I dont want to jump into marriage as if its a job contract I am signing expecting that one day it will expire. Tist: You can be in a long-term relationship with someone and never get married. I feel bad for you but you basically gave him the green light to control you. Purposely avoiding sex is a great time to have your own awakening Not having sex can be a. I tried to make myself love him. It's not that they don't want to. Long story short, I don't love my pregnant girlfriend. Fertility is amazing, making a baby with your own body is an unreal magical power, feeding that baby with your body is some kind of sci-fi-fantasy level of madness. You're a dude she just met, maybe at a bar, maybe on a dating site. Anyways, we decided to get marry after finding out that she was pregnant, even though I had my doubts if it was my baby or not. you have a baby with a girl you dont love,but you loved her apple enough to eat it without any protection?stupid talk,absolute rubbish. A Group Leader is a What to Expect community member who has been selected by our staff to help maintain a positive, supportive tone within a group. The baby grew in her, she birthed it, she fed it, and she nurtured it every step of the way. To begin, the average cost of vaginal delivery in the US, with health insurance, is $4,300. This is why friends with benefits is never a good idea. Be true to yourself and you will allow yourself to get things that you deserve. Thank you for purchase! I too feel torn by a similar situation. The problem I have now is that have a beautiful baby girl with one girl I impregnated whom I dont love. We only dated for three months before I got pregnant. Add to Collection. But that luxury comes with an expiration date, especially for women. sit the lady down n explain things to her and the most important thing is take very good care of your child. Ex gf keeps driving past my house!!? Group Leaders arent expected to spend any additional time in the community, and are not held to a set schedule. We respect everyones right to express their thoughts and opinions as long as they remain respectful of other community members, and meet What to Expects Terms of Use. He's not in love so he's selfish??? It's his car, it's not petty if he keeps it. They had to do it because the marriage was arranged or demanded, as their families saw them as a burden and financial responsibility to be passed on to a man who was willing to take her off their hands. My friends-with-benefits and I are having a baby (6 months along). "And Maggie Makes Three" is the thirteenth episode of the sixth season of the American animated television series The Simpsons. I feel like I'm trapped and no where to go. silly boy so u r one of the stupid men who go abt using girls 4 sex.dont luv her dont touch her. Your post will be hidden and deleted by moderators. This may not change her decision, but best to be honest. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think. not truly in love with the gf), then you can break up. Support yourself. Begin speaking about the kids, as well, mentioning different accomplishments they've made lately . Well of course he would keep the car. Im in the exact same boat man. I want to be a father!!! !So the next time you wake up and look at the zit face woman you married that disgusts you and you hate her because you could have banged all the women you wanted but she got knocked up! I need advice too. Start off by talking about your family, how you're feeling about work and home in general, and your love for your wife. Second thing that you can do after having a baby with someone you don't want to be with, how to deal with it is to be responsible. You have to do what you feel is right. May you both be happy and healthy. If I cant love her now, what are the possibilities that Ill love her? Why is she with you? He was a rebound for me. You're sort of talking like you want a sugar daddy. Create an account or log in to participate. A woman isn't damaged after engaging in sex, having a baby, or ending a bad relationship. It was ok if we didn't want to be together. Having A Baby With Someone You Don't Want To Be With, How To Deal With It? I mean really a woman gets pregnant with your child and there are no options but to marry her? Send all yourrelationship&Loveproblems/issues to me for help via [emailprotected]. The stories of council-flat, benefit scrounger single mums are so far-fetched. Does the father know? So today at my apt (weekly NST/ ultrasound due to Covid protocol) baby girl measured 8lb 2 ounces and short so they are saying she will be a big baby and have a big headI had my cervix checked and Im not dilated any nor has 35 weeks - desperate to getto finish line ?? In fact, before we found out I was pregnant (which was completely unplanned) I was thinking of breaking up with him. But kids are smarter than you think. Paula Perry has a multi-page spreadsheet titled "Squirrels," which details the health and wellness of tiny, injured baby squirrels she keeps in her house. the woman would be unhappy, miserable and resentful as well in the long run for marrying a man who doesnt love her or care if she exists. I think it's best to do what will make you the happiest. love should beget love and not hate or fear..something society always fails to learn. I am 39 soon to be 40 in 2 months. It's that type of kindness you feel toward someone who's very close to your heart. I completely respect her decision on this. And if you guys were just friends with benefits, why continue the pregnancy? maybe take a pre-marital class and figure out some common ground to build a relationship on Nine years ago I was mad in love with my first boyfriend. My pregnant girlfriend doesnt seem to want me around. He's controlling you since you are 100% dependent on him. Take this advice as if your life depends on it. Honestly if I wouldn't of gotten pregnant I would not be with him. My ex won't come back to me after I hurt h Ex girlfriend is pregnant with her new boyfriend months after breaking up with me. Hi everyone! In some cases it works, but for many it doesn't. He's not all bad. Don't assume the baby will be just like his daddy, your baby may have a few similarities to him cause he's his child but your baby will be one of a kind in your eyes. AND NOW EVERY ONE IS UPHAPPY, MISARABLE, INCLUDING THE CHILD. I have many regrets from the past and can't bear to add another one to the long list. THE MOTHER KNOWS THE FATHER DOESNT LOVE HER NOW GUESS WHAT SHE IS ALSO MISARABLE! But there's a catch: Because you believe that having this child means more to you than not having this child means to your husbandand because he had originally agreed to three kidsyour. But we started fighting more and more. Forgotting that there's gonna be 3 children in his life forever? Good one boys real mature!! To think about the kids. Your best bet might be to stay with your gf for now, bond with your child and forge a relationship with him/her. We've been together 9. They were always fighting. Asking why you had sex with her in the first place wont solve this problem cos its everywhere in our societies and its just unfortunate your hit and run opportunity couldnt worked out. The guy I was seeing was fun to party with but I didn't love him. To help you make the fewest blunders possible, let me give you a few tips: 1. I couldn't be myself with him. Chosing to be in a rebound relationship to forget the past and aiming for some fun also cause a problem. JP friend, thanks for taking the time to read my post and offer your advise. She is 6 months pregnant now. We were fighting like crazy right before we found out she was pregnant. we should always strife to solve a problem no matter how painful by looking at its essence and its core and not from its form. YOU CANNOT PROVIDE HAPPINESS WHEN YOU ARE NOT HAPPY. The way you wrote that sounds like you think what a man wants is not as important as what a woman wants. SCENARIO 1: STAY WITH HER BECUASE SHE IS PREGNANT (THIS IS THE FOUNDATION OF THE RELATIONSHIP). And you will also need to take a firm decision on what you think is best to be done. It is normal to want to lay your head on your mother's breast and feel the security and warmth of her love and compassion. advice needed h heatha_heatha Posted 2/4/14 My boyfriend and I have only been together since November. This is it, i went and made my life more complicated than it already was by adding a new factor, a child, to the equation.